Accepting the Unacceptable
She is the jingle in, “Jingle Bell Rock,
The wish in, “Wish Upon A star”,
The moonbeam in, “How Can You hold a Moonbeam In Your Hand”.
I open the sliding glass door and Step upon my cold hard wooden deck,
In the frigid New England air.
I gaze within the stars,
And begin my evening prayer service,
I pray from the depths of my soul,
Singing my prayer with tears, “When you wish upon a star. Doesn’t matter who you are. When you wish upon a star. Your dreams come true”.
I ask the stars, “Please heal her illness”.
And my heart breaks for her.
And the next night, I open the sliding glass door, Step into the biting winter wind,
Gaze into the Blackness between each star and pray, “Please return vitality to her”.
The next night in my frigid aloneness On my deck altar,
I pray as I cry to the beings who reside far beyond our galaxy,
Those beings who travel with their light bodies, who heal with frequency. “Please send her a miracle”.
And the next night, with hope in my eyes,
I ask Nature’s evening quietness in its perfect balance of giving and receiving, in its perfect balance of grace, “Please help her recover”.
And yes, the next and the next and the next night, I pray with deep trust in Something that lies within the hearts of us,
And each night, my prayers become weaker and more pale,
And again, I pray, “When you wish upon a star, Makes no difference who you are. When you wish upon a star. Your dreams come true”.
Within the privacy of my heart, my soul sisters, Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene Stand with me,
Praying, “Please, give her just a couple of days of vitality”.
And my anger boils as I cry out to the healing light within the brilliance of these stars,
Within each soul that exists,
As I cry out to the frequency that healed the blind man,
As I cry out to the frequency within spontaneous healing,
To the God within all of us,
“If you have a heart. Ease her suffering”.
The humblest moments in my life pale to this jagged edge of humility as I stand here with an open heart.
I shiver on my frigid deck altar as again I sing,
My tears drying up, “When you wish upon a star,
Make no difference who you are,
Your dreams come true…
And time after time, my faith is shattered.
How can this benevolent infinite intelligence that I am trusting in let her down?
How can she suffer during the time in life when others are experiencing the vitality of romance, the adventure of knowing who they are?
When others are experiencing the independence and freedom of young adulthood?
How can she be abandoned by that which gives us a reason to live?
Yet she is abandoned…